Reply to DIL is distant with us, warm and close to other relatives

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m like this. My in laws just want too much together time. They come once a month for 3-4 days where we are expected to be together every moment. And they plan their next Trip before The current one is even over. Also, they really seem to view may not as an individual but as a “their sons wife” and “the person who provides their grand children”.

I think they’ve tried to change their attitude over the last few years and treat me more as a human but some of the resentment just runs too deep at this point. I’m not going to suddenly forget my MIL holding my baby and not giving him back when I asked, as I was recovering from a C section and unable to just get up and get him back. “Oh, not yet, I’m still visiting him!” And then coming to visit us a few days later and holding the baby while I do chores, while smiling and saying ruefully “I know I should help you with that laundry since you’re still recovering but I just can’t get enough of snuggling this baby!”

You know who else wanted to snuggle the baby? Me, the first time mom!

Anyways now that I’ve learned to be more assertive, they seem to walk on eggshells around me. And I don’t mean assertive as in mean, I mean like “no, I’m going to keep the baby for now, I’ll let you know when I’m ready to give her to someone else”. Or “actually I’m going to go to bed a little early because I’m tired, but I’m sure DH would enjoy looking at your 4874 pictures from your childhood”

They probably think I’m too distant but at this point I’m in over my head with my job and my small kids and I just don’t have the energy to care.[/quote]

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