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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I will always love my husband, but my hatred is growing"
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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like he has been honest with you about his family, but that's a lot of tough stuff to deal with. And now you are pointing the finger at this messed up childhood as the cause of marital discord, so he's getting defensive about it. So sure, he's changing the story. If he trusts you with the bad stuff, you can't throw it back at him. You have to deal with it in a patient and supportive way, even though it is tough. If he's the type who was abandoned or grew up unable to trust his family, then if you turn this stuff on him he will be very threatened because it will feel like the same abandonment/distrust coming from a different corner. I don't know the answers, I am going through a similar thing, although with a counselor. But his family is his vulnerability. If he feels caught between you and them, it's not going to go well. He needs to feel that you are his partner in dealing with this stuff.[/quote]
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