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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It will probably work better when they’re over 25. In general I would make sure they have a major say in the type of vacation. You could throw ideas out or a budget and brainstorm together. If the kids disagree alternate who gets final say. Also, make sure not to act like they should be overcome with gratitude! They will hopefully be polite of course but they are doing you a favor as much if not more than you are them (assuming you are paying.) -just got back from my 20th trip with husband’s family.[/quote]

Expectations are kept low about how much or whether they can attend you all expenses paid vacation (due to work and time off commitments), don't expect them to be overly grateful (all fine so far), but adult children should have "a major say in the type of vacation" in an all expenses paid vacation and they're doing mom & dad a favor? Hope you're not my future DIL.[/quote]

NP. Here’s what: my ILs love to do rustic cottage vacations where you have to bring your own freaking sheets and toilet paper and groceries. It’s WORK. My husband and I bring the kids and make time for it because we value spending time with them. We show up, we are pleasant, and we say thank you. But we don’t fall all over ourselves with gratitude because frankly, it’s so much work and it’s not the way we would prefer to spend our vacation time. It’s honestly a favor to them that we are willing to spend our precious vacation days in this way. Like, it’s just packing up all your crap and living somewhere else and, as that Onion article so beautifully put it, “doing chores in closer proximity to a a body of water.”

And we’ve treated ILs on *our preferred* vacations, but they seem to feel uncomfortable because of what they perceive to be exorbitant expense (a few restaurant meals, museum and theater tickets, and a mid-range hotel—gasp). It’s not worth it to bring them along when they freaking gasp over every little thing. So we end up going along with whatever their plans are. [/quote]

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