Reply to I will always love my husband, but my hatred is growing

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[quote=Anonymous]  Please pray for our marriage. We have been together a long time. Usually when we have fights we come out stronger and more connected. While this time I was willing to show kindness after and make up and he was too, there were no apologies and my resentment is growing. I am finding him more and more passive agressive. I feel like the close friendship is being chipped away at each time he says one thing and does another or each time he does something hurtful. I don't think he has the inegrity he used to have. I am not liking who he is becoming. I feel like I am the one making the sacrifices or at least if I make a sacrifice it's expected, but when he does, he's a saint.

I don't want my kids to ever go through a divorce of parents. DH is screwed up from his own parent's divorce. I just feel myself disengaging the more disillusioned I get. He has gone from my best friend to a friend and I have zero interest in sex with him until we get some resolution. He can share with me what pisses him off, but when I share something it turns into "ohhhh well I guess I'm just a bad husband." He shows more contept. We are fighting more than we have in a very long time.The good has always far outweighed the bad, but slowly that is shifting and I don't want this to happen.

If the decline continues I'll push harder for marriage counseling.For now I just seem to be lowering my expectations. The problem with the whole marriage counseling thing is he says "ohhhh you are just going to find someone who agrees that I am a bad husband and if the counselor takes my side you won't want to go back." He has a point because if I don't feel heard and understood it will be hard to continue.

I HATE that I am hating him right now. I still want him to be happy and I will always care deeply about him, but I feel my own resentment growing and I feel taken for granted and like I don't have anything more to give. I am feeling less like a team.

He is always the worst over holidays, partly because the in-laws erupt and he has such mixed feelings. He was supposed to help me prepare a special dinner, help me clean and help me with occupying the kids. Instead he just spent his time on the sofa either playing video games, going on the internet or pouting. He got annoyed at me for losing it at the kids when I was exausted from cleaning and prepping and cooking. It's OK if he yells at the kids for doing something dangerous or whatever, but if I do it I am upsetting everyone.

I am really praying this improves because that's all I've got. With each fight I have made concrete changes as a result, but this time I have nothing left to give him. I think he's unreasonable.[/quote]

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