Reply to DH’s “friends” suck

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once you get older you really realize you only want certain people near your inner circle. If my DH was friends with someone that wasn't a good person. Or who was bad for our relationship we would need to come to a decision.  [b]I think a married couple should have couple friends, not single friends. That's a big one right there. If you don't like one out of the couple that's fine, let your spouse meet them separately. [/b] A good rule of thumb overall.[/quote]

This is only the first page of this thread but you'll get blowback on the first sentence in bold--you knew that when you typed it, right?

Is the "couples should only have couple friends" because you think...what exactly? That single friends have more time on their hands to call up and try to get a DH or DW to go out and party? Or single friends are too needy about wanting time with their friend who's in a couple? Or are you implying that single friends might be out to break up the marriage or whatever?

I don't know what rosy world you live in where once the wedding is over, couples only see other couples (or the halves of those couples they like -- isn't that in effect a "single" friend?). In the real world not everyone is married off, or in relationships. And if married couples should only have couples as friends -- did you simply smile and dump the still-single friends you had, once you got married? Asking seriously. Huge generalizations like "married couples should have couple friends, not single friends" would simply toss out existing friendships from before marriage, and would block a married person from, oh, forming real friendships at work or at activities, if the other person isn't coupled up like you demand.

Did you have some bad experience with a "single friend" messing with your marriage? Distracting your spouse from you or being a bad influence on your spouse? This must come from somewhere in your experience or your fear of your spouse being somehow distracted from you by a single friend. Because I can't see how this works in the real world. Do you also dump friends if they were married but then get divorced?

Because I know how DCUM loves to invent pretend biographies in order to dismiss posters: No, I'm not the single friend. Married for decades. We have couple friends, single friends, friends who are just my friends, others who are just my spouse's friends....[/quote]

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