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[quote=Anonymous]I'm currently visiting family of my husband in another state. My husband and I are from different races -- he's white, I'm a minority. We have been together for 20 years. When we first started dating, an aunt of my husband (not actually an aunt, but a cousin of his mother, let's call her "Aunt Becky") said some very racist things about me to his mother. and others.  Aunt Becky said people from my race were no good and that my husband should break up with me and even lobbied some relatives to push for our breakup (for the record, this was seconded by multiple people, so it is not mere hearsay). Anyway, I was very hurt at the time but since Aunt Becky lives in another state, we don't deal with her and my husband could care less about her opinion, the whole thing was forgotten.

Fast forward 20 years. We have three beautiful children. His mother still has a good relationship with Aunt Becky. His mother now wants to take the kids to Aunt Becky's house to use her pool and spend the afternoon there. I don't know how to feel about it. Even though it was a long time ago, I was deeply affected by Aunt Becky's racism (I had never really experienced something so direct like that) and was really hurt as I very much loved (and still love) my husband and couldn't believe someone I never met could hurl a desire to break us up on account of my race. I also have some fears that this person could be nasty to my children or say something hurtful.

My question is: am I being petty here? Should I say something? Should I say that I don't want my children spending time with Aunt Becky? I don't want to make an issue out of something 20 years old but I have this physical reaction to the name "Aunt Becky" and for me the wound is still raw. What do you think I should do?[/quote]

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