Reply to how do you handle kid lying, taking things that don't belong to her?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]SO, my DD, who's going in fifth grade, is obsessed with Youtube and all things online these days. Like all kids, I guess. We have an iPad that she uses to call friends, play games, etc. She does not have a phone. She found an old ipod of mine that we let her use for music. Of course, it wasn't long before she started veering over to Youtube and watching things she shouldn't. Not terrible, mostly dumb. I took it away, told her why and hid it. Well she found it and I found one day cleaning her room. So I took it and never said anything to her. She went hunting again and didn't find that one, but she found another one that DH and I use and has been hiding that in her bedroom for I dont know how long, watching the same dumb videos and who knows what else. If questioned, she will usually lie about taking it or lie about what she was watching. She must know I can look it up and see. NO personal responsibility AT ALL.

It's become a cat and mouse game, and I'm ready for it to be over. I've talked to her before about appropriate vs. not appropriate. I've talked to her about watching things with us around, ie, not in her bedroom with the door closed. And she usually complies but not always. We'll get tired, think she's talking to her friends and it turns out she's on youtube, etc.

I don't want to ban it completely because I know that won't work. I just want her to ask before she takes things that don't belong to her, or to ask whether she has permission to watch youtube or whatever. She has somehow decided she's the boss and can do what she wants when she wants. She takes other things of mine too sometimes, including makeup, jewelry, etc. She doesn't usually put the stuff back, which send me on a hunt and in a mood because I can't stand when she does this. And no, my 10 year old is not wearing makeup, but she likes to play with it. I don't typically let her play with mine, but I have given her old samples I don't want, etc. This is a new behavior, since school's been out.

How would you punish? Or would you? I feel like we do a lot of talking and she nods and says OK, but then a day or so later turns right around and does the same thing.

I would ban it completely actually. It's unnecessary to childhood and a destructive influence. She sounds very bored and unable to exert self-control over the pull of easy dopamine. I would enroll her in some off-line, analog activities to keep her busy.

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