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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Make everything into a cooperation.  There's only one screen, either share or don't use it.  There are three of you, either you are all in trouble or you're handling it between the three of you.[/quote]

This approach could very easily backfire and make the situation much, much worse. It really depends on what the actual dynamics are.

If they are competing and mean with each other, but not with classmates or friends, that would indicate that this is a family specific issue. A few questions to ask:

- What is each kid's family identity? Do you think of your kids as "the oldest", the "youngest", and the "middle kid". Even if you use other terms, do you let their birth order influence how you treat them? Does the oldest always wind up helping you more or being in charge of the other two? Does the youngest get picked on, or conversely, let off the hook a lot? Does the middle child get overlooked?

- Does each kid have opportunities to shine within the family? Moments when they get to excel at something and be the recipient of appreciation or accolades? Maybe the family goes to one kid's music recital and then they get to pick the restaurant afterwards. Or the kid who has been interested in cooking makes dinner for the family one night and everyone eats it and is appreciative.

Kids need to feel like individuals and they need to feel individually valued. Focusing on them as a group all the time can make them feel insecure and cause more fighting and rivalry.[/quote]

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