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[quote=Anonymous]Oh jeez, this is an impossible situation. I'm your friend and there's no way this won't be devastating. She's using your sons' relationship as a proxy and reassurance to herself. I know because I do the same, and it really does give me a lot of comfort that my only child has a sister-like BFF. But you know, her BFF has a younger sibling and with time, I see it as a bonus. The BFF family treats my DC like one of their own when they're together (will buy matching outfits for all 3 girls, always picks up 3 special presents or treats from the store, etc.) and the younger sibling loves my DC like she has two big sisters. If you genuinely care and are up for it, remember this and try to treat your friend's son the way my friend treats my daughter. It will help heal the wound and really will make a difference.

That said, breaking the news and the next few months to years will be VERY hard. Tell her now, don't wait. If you miscarry (knock on wood), it's something you'd tell your best friend anyways, right? Send her a text (NOT IN PERSON EVEN FOR A BEST FRIEND) and say, "I wanted to let you know something and give you the space to react on your own. I'm pregnant and it's a total shock. It is SO unfair it worked out this way for me and not for you. It's total bullshit and I wish more than anything it was different for you. I love you so much and want to be there for you however is best for you. And I love Larlo and he is still and will always be like a brother to our family. Please don't respond right away and don't you dare say congrats if you would rather say "what the f**k! I love you and I'm here for you, whenever and however."

Don't be surprised if she doesn't respond or if she pulls away for a while. This is a true test of your friendship and she may just not have it in her to be present for your pregnancy. I had a few friends that got pregnant during or after we stopped treatment. Some I distanced from, some I still spent time with but avoided the topic of pregnancy despite the humungous pregnant-belly shaped elephant in the room. She'll probably cry for the unfairness of the situation and the potential loss for her son that she's envisioning. You can empathize with the unfairness and reassure her about the loss. Hugs and good luck. Please feel free to ask any and all questions now and in the upcoming months. I'm happy to help how I can. [/quote]

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