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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend has suffered through 3 years of infertility trying for a second and finally decided to be done with treatment. She's coming to peace with it and our sons are the same age and best friends. She's been talking nonstop about how they're like brothers and will grow up doing things together which I whole-heartedly agree with. All of a sudden, it turns out that I am pregnant - completely unexpectedly. Our sons are 5, about to start K this year, so will be significantly older than the new baby, but I have no idea how to tell her. She knows we weren't trying, we've talked about how I'm happy with one, and it just feels so unfair that I'm having another and she, who tried so hard for a second won't have one. I haven't told her yet, and I have no idea how to tell her. I don't want this to get in the way of our friendship, but I also know how sensitive it may be. Anyway, looking for advice on how to tell her, when to tell her, etc.[/quote]

You are a good person and good friend for being sensitive to this. I have been on both sides -- struggled with infertility and did IVF for #1. Then had #2 and have a close friend who probably can't. Definitely text/email and not in person so she has space to react privately before saying Congratulations. I wouldn't make this about her or imply she wont be happy for you. Just share the news, and then more generally focus on what you have in common (your 5yos) and don't bring up pregnancy/baby a ton, follow her Qs and lead.

Congrats OP![/quote]

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