Reply to Would you describe my baby as high-needs?

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[quote=Anonymous]My first (and only) was like that and still is in many ways.  Very similar -- didn't STTN until about 9 months, wanted to be held all the time, but also wanted to be independent on stuff like feeding right from the start. It's definitely a personality thing. I had a friend and my therapist (I used to take DD to therapy appointments when she was very little) refer to her as "high needs" and I guess she probably is. I don't have a point of comparison.

One thing I've learned as she's gotten older, though, is that if I channel my efforts with her carefully, she can actually be more independent and easier than other kids her age. She's always been better at solo play than her peers, for instance, because she started her "I want to do this myself!" phase very early and I just... let her. I also introduced activities that are easy to do alone early on -- she LOVES coloring and painting and anything art-focused, because it's something she can lose herself in and doesn't need help or collaboration to do.

I would also say that as she got older, it became a lot easier to set limits with her and that just makes it easier to deal with stuff like the screaming when she wants to be held. With an 8 mo, if she screams you are probably going to pick her up every time because she's a baby. With a 2 year old? You can just say "Honey, my arms are full at the moment and you know how to walk, so you're just going to have to walk." She'll protest at times but she also has the cognition to get it, and I can reason with her and explain things and it gets easier.

We have had to work with a behavioral therapist on stuff like potty training, though. Mostly because the conventional wisdom does not work for a kid like this -- when we tried to potty train the way most people tell you to (the Oh Crap method people on DCUM raved about) our kid just about lost her mind. So just remember you have to parent the kid you have, and just because it worked for someone else's kid (or for your other kid) does NOT mean it's going to work for this one. Sounds like you are already figuring that out.[/quote]

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