Reply to Angry about DH’s work situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been toying with the idea of moving out of DC for years to have more space and a more affordable lifestyle. He really pushed for it while I was opposed since I liked the ease of being downtown, especially for commuting purposes. Once Covid hit and DH’s company went fully WFH he started pushing even more and says he spoke with HR a few times and they said the company plans to be much more flexible in the future and will never return to 5 days per week in the office. Eventually I gave in and agreed to move with the understanding that DH and I would both have more flexibility (I work full time too but could always wfh 3 days per week and my hours are not as long).

[b]Fast forward to last month when DH’a office fully reopened and guess what, there is no official WFH policy and it seems like the expectation is that most people are in the office 5 days per week. DH now has a commute that is over an hour each way (unless he leaves really early/late). [/b]He leaves at 7:30am and often doesn’t get home before 7:30pm which means I now get to work my full time job plus do nearly everything for our two kids (ages 6 and 2). I am now doing camp/day care drop offs and pick ups, preparing and feeding the kids, bath and bedtimes, and really much more completely on my own every single day. Beyond that, it truly sucks that younger one sees her dad for 30 mins in the AM and the older one gets 30 mins at night too.

I know single parents do this on their own every day (as well as many non-single parents too), but I never would have agreed to move had I know it would be like this with DH never being around. DH swore he would be working from home 2-3 days per week and able to help out with the kids and we would be so much happier in a bigger house with a nice yard. It’s unclear to me whether his company changed its mind or he misunderstood whatever HR told him but part of me feels duped. If I didn’t also have a stressful job maybe I would not be as annoyed, but even with my flexibility now everything for the kids is being dumped on me to manage vs it being more of a partnership like before, and it’s impacting my work and certainly how I am being perceived by my boss.

Would others be upset by this too? I have already tried talking to DH but he swears he thought things would be different when we moved. I told him I should quit my job then so the kids can be my full responsibility but he doesn’t want to lose out on the extra income.

[/quote]

I watched people on the Jobs forum post 'we're never going back; my boss/manager/VP really wants to close the office' for the past six months. Guess what peons? Wishful thinking and you're double screwed as we all know this 'we only have to go in 2 days a week' is not written into your job contract or the HR policy.

Its dependent on the whim of the week and the company's corporate needs. [/quote]

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