Reply to Has Anyone Actually Overcome Low Self-Worth / Self -Esteem? How?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If therapy worked for you, what kind? If you found a supportive group of friends, how did you do that without any confidence?

My parents spent my childhood pointing out every little thing wrong with me. As a result, I have no self-confidence. I went to two different therapists but they just talked about my childhood and helped understand my problem in detail, without offering a solution.

I don’t get any external validation in my life. Professionally, I do freelance work that I really like, but it’s nothing great or impressive, my friends never ask or care about it. Honestly I don’t even like my few friends, they’re not very ambitious and kind of boring, but I can’t make any new friends, interesting people don’t want to be friends with me.

I’m married and my husband tries to be supportive but I kind of discount it when he says that I’m not mediocre because he’s my husband, obviously he has to say that. I also feel insecure about him not being that great of a husband (because no one has said he is, and also if he was, would he pick me?)

I don’t have any talents or skills, I’m just sort of getting by in life and I am tired of feeling this way all the time. It’s bad for me and my Husband and kids.

I think I need a huge amount of external validation to make up for what I didnt get as a kid. But how can I get that? My husband says I need to just believe in myself, but how can I believe in something without any evidence? I feel like if I just got up and decided to believe that I’m awesome, I’d be lying to myself.

Yesterday my therapist said this struggle might be life long and I’m horrified by that. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. I would love to hear some advice from someone who’s been there.
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What’s wrong with mediocre? Most people are mediocre in one or all ways. It doesn’t stop them from having self worth or pleasure in life. Look at what your self expectations are in terms of being extraordinary. The gap be tween that probably unattainable ideal and reality is what’s making you miserable.[/quote]

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