Reply to Advice needed regarding maintaining friendship with close friend with severely disabled child

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[quote=Anonymous]oh, op, you sound like a great friend and a great person, but i wonder if your friend just needs space... maybe she doesn't need you to be her support and maybe she doesn't want you in her house, cooking and cleaning and prepping... maybe it makes her feel inadequate, like she can't pull it together and there you are, with your normal, active, healthy child and you can do it all and he's moving and running and playing - not wheelchair bound - and you don't seem tired or overwhelmed or anything.

do you think you could call her and say that you love her and would love to help with the new baby, but that you felt like you were in the way at the funeral and you don't want to repeat that, so could she just tell you what would be the best help you could offer? maybe she just needs an open and honest conversation. i can totally see how the other friend's email may have been hurtful.

a good friend of mine is pregnant (after getting married 6 mon ago) and her mother just got diagnosed with terminal cancer. she and i were SO close before she got married, then she got absorbed in being married and then got pregnant so quickly and then the bad news of her mother was so sudden - she has totally drifted away from me and i feel SO bad about it.[/quote]

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