Reply to Advice needed regarding maintaining friendship with close friend with severely disabled child

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[quote=Anonymous]Pathetic?

Telling someone to keep a distance and respect the pain of one who's hurting is pathetic? You're sick!

[quote=Anonymous]Your situation doesn't even come close. So don't try to justify your pathetic "advice."

OP - Severely disabled children are emotionally and physically draining.  It's hard enough parenting a child who has Aspergers, for example.  So imagine having to accept that your child may NEVER reach beyond a 6 yo mentality - or younger.

You can do nothing b/c NOTHING will make her feel better about her situation.  Sending her emails or a nice gift card . . . sweet but such a small gesture that will get lost within her angst

She needs to be in a support group where others share her pain.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your comparing YOUR friend to OP's friend?

speechless

No, you bolded the wrong part.

[quote=Anonymous]Even though[b][size=24] we're not in the exact same situation[/size][/b], [b]OP, I have a friend like this.[/b]

We started dating at the same time and while I kept going around with different boyfriends she stuck to one guy. She was in a relationship for 12 years!

I found DH, got married, had #1 and now I'm expecting #2. In a nutshell, she's been on and off of my life since I moved away for college - she stayed with her parents (and still does - we're 30yo).

Her aunt once said - Susie, what have you done wrong? You stuck with a guy for freaking 12 years and messed up. Your party animal friends played around and now are all happy. What went wrong? - right in front of me and another friend of hers who had the same life style.

She resents her choices (and I understand your friend's situation was not a choice) and we respect the boundaries she's established.

She didn't come for either our weddings but has been very present in our children's lives. She asks all 3 kids to call her auntie and showers them with gifts.

She comes around when something goes well - if she got a nice job or when she finds a cool guy but when things go downhill she shuts down again. We just go along with it. I want to be there for her when she needs it so I just don't force. Our other friend is a little more intrusive and present but that's just not who I am. Our relationship's dynamics are a bit different.

I don't know what's your style but just try to respect her limits.[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]

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