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[quote=Anonymous]One of my very best friends, who I've been friends with since we were 10, has a severely disabled child.  She and I were pregnant with our first babies at the same time and due right around the same time.  Though we live in different states we very much shared our pregnancies.  We were so excited to both be having boys that would be the same age, achieve milestones together, eventually become friends, etc, etc.  Of course we knew we were ridiculously projecting things that were not in our control but it was fun while it lasted.  Fast forward 2.5 years, her son is severly disabled...is non ambulatory, is fed exclusively through a G-tube, is partially deaf (wears hearing aids) and will likely never speak. He is developmentally delayed as well but it is too soon to really tell how severely.  In essence, he is 2.5 years old and has the mind and body of about a 6 month old. My son is healthy and so far as we can tell completely NT.  We knew during her pregnancy that her son might have some physical challenges (ie a heart defect that could be repaired with surgery) but nobody was prepared for what actually happened. Needless to say, her family has been through a very difficult 2.5 years.  During this time we (me and our other close friends) have tried very hard to be a good friend to this family but our friend has completely shut down. She still emails every once in a while and texts but never calls nor returns phone calls. When she does email it is very matter of fact and responds only to the questions asked.  Doesn't ask about our kids, doesn't offer any additional information about her life.  Every once in a while she will say something about how hard life is and how tired she is but then quickly shuts down that line of conversation.  When we visit she is like a shell of her former self.  We've gently suggested counseling but she says she can't handle going to one more appointment.  Additionally, I've heard from other friends that she harbors some resentment that my son is healthy and hers is not.  I've been aware since the beginning that she might feel that way so I've tread very lightly when talking about my son.  She doesn't ask often but when she does I try to offer information in the most sensitive way I can but apparently she was still angry.

I don't know where to go from here.  I keep telling mysefl that I will keep offering up a one sided friendship and she will come around when she has the emotional capacity. I truly believe our friendship is measured in decades and not years but I'm beggining to wonder if we'll ever be close again. Has anybody been through something similar and have anything helpful to share? Thanks[/quote]

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