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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had to go no contact with my parents a few years ago. I hated those calls, because it felt like a bunch of busy bodies gossiping about me and trying to manage my relationships for me. Those were some of the habits that pushed me away from my parents. I’d usually allow them 3 strikes. If someone called to say I need to be nice to my poor mother, I’d say something like “there’s more to the story, leave it alone, it’s between me and them.” The second time, I’d say they were abusive or give an example of why I stopped contact, and let them know I was uncomfortable discussing it further so they shouldn’t bring it up again. If it happened again, that was my sign that they weren’t any more respectful of my boundaries than my parents were, so it was probably not going to work out with people still tight with my parents. I didn’t cut everyone off completely, but I would go very low contact/gray rock after the third strike.

One really hard thing for me was to stop feeling like my parents were a reflection of me. I don’t control them. When they’d do something embarrassing, I had to learn to ignore it like I learned to ignore the homeless guy yelling at people on the sidewalk.[/quote]

This entire post is excellent. [/quote]

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