Reply to Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate

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[quote=Anonymous]I’d say it could go either way.  It’s a gracious and kind thing to do, and if it was me I’d want to take the high road and wish the other person well.  On the other hand, I wouldn’t expect it from the other person, and would want to be gracious to think that perhaps they hadn’t heard there was news to celebrate, or perhaps that they felt awkward and didn’t know if their congratulations would be accepted or provoke a negative reaction.

Really, a lot of this depends on the situation.  Maybe the cause of the falling out wasn’t significant to you, but it might have been highly significant to them.  If they feel gravely wronged, then I wouldn’t expect congratulations (or anything else), until you reach out and re-establish communication, probably with an apology.

Basically, if you want to save this friendship, I’d say you need to be the bigger person.  For whatever share of the problem you’ve caused, accept responsibility and apologize.  For whatever share of the problem they’ve caused, forgive (but not necessarily forget - You don’t have to say that something wrong is alright, just that you’re going to stop resenting it and are open to moving on).  Ideally, the friend would meet you somewhere in the middle (not necessarily 50/50.  Hopefully, you can clear up misunderstandings, and set up guidelines to avoid future problems and the friendship can be restored.  Even if it turns out the friendship is beyond repair, at least you’ll know you did everything you could on your part, and you’ve released your own anger which isn’t healthy for you to carry around.  [/quote]

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