Reply to Falling out with someone - would you still congratulate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the falling out wasn’t over some thing dramatic, just like you said, I would congratulate. As long as you can do it with no expectation, just as a nice gesture.
No expectations because they might feel differently but if it’s genuine and you do it just leave it at that.[/quote]

The key here is that the falling out wasn't dramatic. I assume that means there's no hard feelings there, just that some rift developed and it became too hard to repair. In that case I'd definitely congratulate.

I had a falling out that was dramatic some years ago, and when I found out the ex-friend was expecting a baby, I actually went and found her registry and considered sending a gift. I was really torn about it. But ultimately, because of the circumstances of our falling-out, there was no way to anticipate whether it would have been considered welcome or hostile. And I had mixed feelings too -- part of me wanted to just congratulate her and welcome her to motherhood and let it all go. But it's like the fear that she would view the gift with suspicion or hostility reminded me that I still hadn't forgiven her, and I couldn't go through with it.

If it had been a less dramatic rift, I would have sent something. [/quote]

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