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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have written here about my dh's depression before and how it has wrecked our marriage.  It has gotten better but it is also cyclical.  
What has worked has been really focusing on getting him out of the house and finding a hobby.  We have had a lot of false starts and spent lots of money trying to find something he enjoys.  
Also, and I realize that this isn't fair to me, but I pick up a lot of slack in the marriage.  I do a lot of the home stuff which tends to throw him in a funk.  It is a trade off between me forcing an issue on him splitting the chores and having him sleep for a week.
Therapy has been somewhat helpful but not really.  Meds help a bit.  Being honest about how the depression impacts me has helped some and at least gets him out of bed.

I no longer allow him to blame me for everything or to wallow to me about how he is a horrible person.  I recognize what I can talk to him about and what I can't.  Once he starts down the "I am a terrible father...husband, etc" conversation, I am done.  There is no point and in a way, it is a convenient out for him rather than facing the issue head on.  So, I also protect myself.  I have a great therapist too.

I have also been honest with my child.  He is 13 and a year or so ago, I sat him down and told him about my dh's depression.  I didn't want him to think this was a normal marriage or a normal situation but I did want him to believe that you stick by people you love.

Good luck - hang in there.  [/quote]

This sounds so much like my life, except I need a therapist. -OP[/quote]

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