Reply to Miserable mom with eating disorder (again)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like she has an illness.   Can you look at it that way?  You would not angry with a cancer patient for being cranky about that or someone with a broken bones not acting graciously all the time.   I would just look I to how to handle patients with this condition and act accordingly.  If you need to go out to get some food as part of it then do that.  But maybe the condition is better treated by just modeling healthier behavior for her.[/quote]

This is totally absurd and it sounds like you have no understanding of how to deal with mentally ill prople.  You do not tolerate abusive behavior from someone because they are mentally ill.  If OP’s husband had bipolar and was cursing her out or hitting her, would you advise her to not be angry with him?  [/quote]

Yes. You can make the call not to expose yourself to frank abuse without making harsh judgments about the abuser. At a certain point, it doesn't matter if it's intentional or not, or fully under the person's control. You don't have to let someone push you under without resisting just because they are drowning -- that makes for two drowned people.

There is someone (or more than one) DCUM who really takes personally the survival steps of relatives and friends of people with really raging and abusive mental illness. I'm truly sorry for whatever you have dealt with, but it doesn't change the fact that people don't have to light themselves on fire to keep someone else warm. That doesn't mean the other person isn't cold, or doesn't deserve to be warm -- but this is not the way. It's not okay.

Rare is the cancer patient who fetishizes her cancer, insists on praise for having cancer, and belittles and demeans other people for not being good enough, or strong enough, or disciplined enough to have contracted cancer. Rare is the guy with the broken bone who then goes around sneering at other people for having intact bones. This is not the same, PP. It isn't. [/quote]

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