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[quote=Anonymous]Like PP, I was the depressed spouse.

Things that helped that spouse did:

1. Starting making a big effort to get kids out of the house on saturdays so I could have some alone time. I need time away from both kids and spouse.

2. Started having fewer expectations of me; he no longer has opinions about how I load the dishwasher, what kind of food I make for dinner, etc., and really steps up when I get depressed or anxious. He used to get frustrated with me when I got anxious or depressed rather than putting the blame on my mental illnesses.

Basically he just kind of backed off, which reduced the additional burden I was experiencing that came from knowing I was disappointing him.

Things I did:

1. Went to a mental hospital, got a diagnosis and on meds

2. Take those meds and see a psychiatrist regularly

3. Have frozen dinners on hand (pizza, lasagna) for when I am really anxious

4. Use my alone time to do things that help my mental health instead of wasting that time

5. I now have fewer expectations of my husband; I don’t take it personally when he is frustrated when I am depressed or anxious.

I am so sorry, OP. It’s such a difficult dynamic. I hope your spouse can get the help they need. [/quote]

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