Reply to how nervous would this make your rising freshman son (14 year old)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is entering a private high school and has the opportunity to practice several days per week this summer with the JV and Varsity teams for his sport (for fun). 
He does not know anyone at the school.  He is PETRIFIED of going as he feels 1) he knows no one 2) most of the kids wil know each other 3) most will be older (he's a rising freshman and they're rising Fr, So, Jr. and Sr).
We tried yesterday and he was losing his mind in fear.  He couldn't get out of the car.

How easy (or hard) would this be for your kid?

My son has a lot of friends at this current school and on his current sports teams.  He's a social, friendly kid.  He's good at this sport.

I'm wondering how much of this is normal?  Or how much of this is clinical anxiety.  He has low level anxiety about anything new but this is next level.  I wonder if it's exacerbated by Covid (he has been in virtual school at home for a year---seeing about 8 friends very regularly---so not isolated but not in a larger social setting).

Would your kid be able to do this without skipping a beat?  Would it provoke some stress? Would he refuse to go?

Please be honest.

Thank you for any thoughts!

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Oh, OP I feel for your DS!  I have a son that age as well.  All of the statements and fears that he has expressed are absolutely true, and can be anxiety-producing in anyone. What I think is not normal is his response to that anxiety - refusing to go, staying in the car.

This response could very well be Covid-related as he (like all kids) has had a year where he did not have to face his fears and anxieties in a productive manner, and learn that he can work through them. This is example number 345,624,964 of how our kids have suffered developmentally through the last 18 months, even if we didn't necessarily see that reflected on a day-to-day basis.

If it were my son, I would try to recognize that his "coping muscle" has gone flabby and needs some work. Start putting him in situations that will require some effort and dealing with some stress, but maybe not to this level. Work him back into this gradually, but keep at it.

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