Reply to Dealing with mother with attachment issues, anxiety, depression?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Dealing with mother with attachment issues, anxiety, depression?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Every day is far too often to bear this burden. Talk to your mom when it works for you. It’s ok to let calls go the voicemail and to leave texts and emails unanswered. If that winds your mother up, know that it isn’t about you and isn’t your responsibility to keep her calm and happy.

Learn the mantra “I didn’t cause this, I cannot control this, I cannot cure this.” Your mom is trying to draw you into her drama. For your own mental health, try to release the things that aren’t yours.

Set boundaries for the complaining you will listen to. Don’t ask questions about the details. Instead, give a bland answer like “Sounds like a problem a doctor can help with,” “Gosh, that’s a shame,” or “Huh, seems tough.” Then switch the subject to anything else—something you saw on TV, the weather, a hobby you’d like to try. If your mother is hell bent on focusing on the negative, tell her you can’t talk. Perhaps you have a meeting to attend to, a pet emergency, a child who needs your help urgently, etc. In a pinch try “This is hard for me to hear. Perhaps we should talk when you’re in a better mood/calmer.”

The website Out of the Fog has even more ideas for how to avoid engaging in the negative and how to protect yourself from others’ dark moods. I highly recommend the resources and (very kind) discussion forum.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics