Reply to Long-Distance Divorce, Primary Custody, Frequency of phone calls and visits?

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Reply to "Long-Distance Divorce, Primary Custody, Frequency of phone calls and visits?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reasonable:

You are moving away so:

You fly the child out, leave chid with Dad Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break and fly back and get him when break is over paying all expenses.  Reasonable is Dad gets 8 weeks in the summer with you flying child back/forth and paying for the flights.

Reasonable is a 10 minute phone call every night.[/quote]

No, 8 weeks alone is not reasonable for a 6 year old and a parent who sounds like they are basically unfit. reading between the lines, something is going on with the dad’s mental health.

OP, I think daily calls would be great but not if your ex will flake. Sometimes though it can be easier just to do something every day than 2x/week in terms of scheduling.

For visits - can your ex stay with you when he visits? One of the more functional long-distance divorces I know of, the noncustodial dad would go stay in the mom’s house for long visits (up to 2 weeks I think). An unusual situation but they were very dedicated to their child.

For visits to dad’s house - I would plan to travel out their with the child for a few years as much as possible, stay in an airbnb

Another possibility would be if your ex has any relatives you trust? Kid and dad could stay together with the in laws. [/quote]

We only know OP side and OP is taking her child cross country and moving away.  We don't know if he is unfit or she is making that up.  She is claiming all these bad things about Dad.  THIS IS WHY DAD's give up as they aren't allowed a relationship with their kids.  OP needs to give Dad a chance to be Dad on his own and take care of his child.  If she is always there, he cannot be a Dad and parent.  At that point, just terminate the relationship all together as in the long run its easier than seeing your kid maybe once a year supervised and a few phone calls a month.

Dad absolutely should get the bulk of the summer.  Child is going without Dad for 10-12 months a year.  How is that ok, but not ok to be without mom so he can be with his Dad.  Dad should not have to go to Mom's house to see his child.  Dad probably only gets so much leave from his job.

Seriously, just tell ex, you don't want him involved anymore and let everyone move on and don't complain Dad isn't involved when its people like this poster who are preventing the relationships.  [/quote]

“Dad” could easily have gotten off his behind and challenged OP moving out of state but he did not. OP does not have to “give” him anything. He clearly has issues. [/quote]

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