Reply to S/o outsourcing cleaning as a relationship fix

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Much of your list really doesn’t have to be done every day. Unmade beds are not a crime (are in fact more hygienic) groceries aren’t delivered daily, mail can sit on a shelf for a couple days without producing radioactivity, and perhaps my husband and I are outliers but our floors are not littered with pubes...

The point of outsourcing cleaning help and why I always suggest it has nothing to do with giving men an out on doing their half, it’s on making the whole smaller so both partners have less on their plate. We have finite time, we both work full time jobs, time with each other and our daughter is inherently of greater value than time scrubbing a toilet. It is also about avoiding sources of conflict.  I have a daughter, and if she has  no memories of her parents fighting over who takes out the trash, that’s a win in my book. I also consider it a win if she is raised without the Insane and deeply sexist idea that cleaning a house is a better use of her time than reading a book, taking a walk, connecting with her spouse and child/ren etc.

I was raised by someone who thought the house had to be ready for inspection at a moments notice. Every dish washed within ten minutes of a meal being finished.  She used to vacuum on the way out the door to vacation. My dad begged her to have a daily maid and she refused.  How many memories do you want your kids to have of you mopping vs. playing with them?[/quote]

boy, it sure is NICE for my DH to have only fun memories with DS, meanwhile I am at home doing all the chores he literally refuses to do. (Like - actually literally says he won’t ever do.)[/quote]

You are compounding the problem. Your son will think housekeeping is something only women do and he will “refuse” as well.  If your son thinks housekeeping is something part of the household budget you will at least have improved on his father (who sounds like a real winner...)[/quote]

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