Reply to How do you make peace with having a spouse who is not bad enough to leave?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Individual therapy is a good idea. Last time I talked to a therapist about this individually he wanted to make it about 'how I could communicate better with my husband.' And that was just so unhelpful. But I could try someone else.

There are a lot of things I'm happy about in my life. It feels easier to live with a husband who at least takes the trash out, can be left with the kids, and gets me coffee. I don't know if that's a good way of looking at it. We do have a nice time together. I think if I did talk this through, it could either help me end it or help me accept it. I'm just so tired of arguing about it. I can't keep doing that.[/quote]
PP here, I definitely understand. I won’t say I have it all figured out but therapy has helped me talk through things that I do struggle with. It’s not linear and you have to prepare yourself for that. My first therapist was very new age-y and All “self love” and while that was helpful in a moment of crisis I realized after about 5 sessions I needed something different. I now have a therapist who is an excellent fit. It takes some trial and error.

Staying for the reasons you listed is fine, but you might find those reasons aren’t actually enough for you. But for now I would say don’t think about your marriage so much as thinking about yourself — start there. [/quote]

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