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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sound like the parents always set high goals, [b]but did not spend time with their kids or show them how to obtain those goals.[/b] At this point there is not much he can do. Nothing wrong owning a small business. The drinking problem kid needs to be sent to rehab before it's too late.  [/quote]

NP - not sure how you inferred that.

Yes, most parents have high goals for their kids, even without trying there is a future that you've imagined for them in your head. PP's husband had both boys accepted into and attending college.  After that it's on the adult kid to do his/her part.  Many young adults drop out of college, you can look at graduation rates to see that kids drop out, or take 6 years to finish a four year degree.  College itself does not equal success.

At some point you have to let go.  It's difficult, especially now that I think we might over parent too much when they are teenagers.

My cousin recently told me that parenting doesn't end when your kid turns 18 or moves out.  That you parent your kid forever.  I disagree.  At some point it's time to stop parenting unless they come back to you for advice/shelter. My husband is in his mid 40s, and very successful. He immediately shuts down the conversation once his mom starts parenting. She should have let go 25 years ago, but she's still trying to control the outcome of his life.

The disappointment a person feels toward their adult children is *usually* about them, not their kids. [/quote]

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