Reply to "probably never really had autism in the first place"

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Reply to " "probably never really had autism in the first place""

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[quote=Anonymous]My kid is "high functioning" whatever the H%$$ that means.  He has Asperger's.  It has crippled his life several times over the years.  Yet you could meet him and not know that anything was "wrong."  Or you could meet him and wonder what kind of horrible parents are raising him.  Or you could meet him and think he was brilliant.  Or you could meet him and feel sorry for him that he has to live with his demons.  I admit that sometimes I have done therapies bc I was "supposed" to.  Some of those (social skills) have been a monumental waste of time.  Others have not.  I have not spent nearly as much actual $ on therapy as I have on parenting him in a different way than most other kids are parented.  I work part-time so I can pick him up at school every day and be on hand for every last meeting and issue.  That costs money.  He can't have normal babysitters or just be dropped at a friend's for a playdate so we can get out.  That costs money (every once in a while we actually do have to get out of the house without him).  We buy food he used to eat that will go untouched on his plate bc somehow it now offends his olfactory senses.  That costs money (and yes, he would rather go to bed hungry than eat it).  We have meds that I suppose he might be able to live without, but at what cost to his life, our lives, his sibling's life, his self-esteem and ability to attend school?  With those meds go check-ups with the psychiatrist, of course only partially covered by insurance.  Might he be alive and largely functional without any intervention?  Possibly.  Might he be ok if he had a mother who just went to work and left him in aftercare and didn't work as hard on him?  Possibly.  Would he grow up to be a functional member of society and have a job and a family?  Possibly.  I want what every other parent wants for her child.  I want him to be happy NOW and happy as an adult.  I want him to live to adulthood and not commit suicide bc he's so miserable at being different.  I want not to be THAT parent at the classroom activities.  I want him to have friends and the tools to deal with those friendships and future relationships (without them, a marriage will never work for him).  I want him to have the job that he can achieve (scientist, teacher, mathematician, doctor) rather than something that pays the bills and puts up with him.  I would like him to end up being someone who people think, "well, gee, I would never know he had autism."  But believe me, he has it, we live it, and it's f&*#ing hard every single day.  Not every hour, sometimes, but every day.  I'm glad that we can make the necessary sacrifices to help him on his path.[/quote]

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