Reply to Advice welcomes - single parent getting a terminal diagnosis and I'm far away

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[quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry, OP. You are in a painful spot. I’m sorry you are so far from your mom. I’m sorry about her prognosis. Does your job allow you to take administrative leave for family care? Your mother’s clinic likely has social workers, or can put in touch with them. These people will know what care to set up in the home now. Get in touch with them as soon as possible. Bring in a higher level of care than your mom may need at the moment so the care is in place when she needs it. Agree with the PP that you want to get ahead of the crisis/needs. As I read your post, I’m struck by both your love and concern, and also by how clear-headed you are. You also have the funds and a community of friends around your mother to care for her, and well. Besides the social worker and professional care, maybe you could begin organizing this community as a support team. People want to help! You might want to have a firm conversation with your siblings about their contribution. Do not accept this is all in you. You might want to find care or organize your own network of friends to help with your kids or get a meal service in place for your own home so you can have that in place if you have to be away. I’m so sorry your father in law is also declining and in need. And you may need to do all this for him, too. You mention anticipating how difficult this coming year may be. I’m sorry to say that you are likely correct. This is a really, really hard process. And coming off a pandemic makes it even harder. But it’s not your fault, and you will do the best you can. You sound like a lovely, capable, caring person. I truly believe that once you set some wheels in motion, you’ll find your way and set up a good care system for both parents. [/quote]

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