Reply to Baby fever when you can't and/or don't think it's a good idea to have another

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It helps as the kid(s) you have get older and you move farther from the baby stage.  Then you start enjoying the advantages of having an older kid, and the idea of being in the baby stage gets less and less appealling.

For me, it was more the mourning of a stage of life (the newness and the youth implied by being the mom of a baby/toddler) than it was the wish for another child.  [/quote]

This is exactly it for me. I always wanted a ton of kids, DH said 2 or 3. We have 3 and I would still love to have more. But I also understand why he is ready to be done and all the logical reasons it doesn’t make sense to have more. While I would try for another in a heartbeat if DH changed his mind, it has been easier and easier for me as  the kids get older. Youngest is almost 4 and day to day life is much easier than even a year ago. I spent an afternoon with a friend and her 1 year old and I did not miss having to bring a stroller and diapers and extra clothes and getting a high chair and cutting up food and the huge mess they make when eating and having to walk them around when they fuss and the food just sits there getting cold.

I just finally got rid of all the baby and toddler stuff, I figure if we ever did end up with another baby, I’d buy it again. Having a high chair and all the other stuff sitting in the basement didn’t make sense and after a couple years, it just didn’t hurt as much to let it go. I tried to give it away immediately when we were done and almost broke down crying and realized I needed more time. I still get really sad about the idea of never being pregnant again, never feeling baby kicks and all that. And for so many years, I was the frazzled young SAHM with the toddler and the baby...it’s like I’m entering a whole new phase of life and I don’t know exactly what is in store. But now it’s more like how I look back on my younger single days - getting ready with friends, partying until all hours of the night and flirting with lots of boys. Every once in a while I miss it a little, but I would never actually want to go back to that. I only think about the fun stuff, not all the bad decisions I made or the heartache. Same for me with babies - I tend to think about how great it was to be pregnant and how I LOVE snuggly newborns. I don’t remember how I threw up daily for 20 weeks or didn’t sleep for a year or all the painful breastfeeding and pumping etc.

I have friends who totally new they were done and had no problem getting rid of things and I really envy them. I am just a much more sentimental person and it has taken time. I’m still not ready for DH to get a vasectomy, but I am getting there...[/quote]

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