Reply to "Kids are resilient!"

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Reply to ""Kids are resilient!""

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[quote=Anonymous]I've said this.

When bad things happen there are kind of two choices, you let it destroy you or you figure out how to move past it.

Kids are very good at, for lack of a better word, surviving. They persevere. Like another person said, this doesn't mean that you don't care about the kid or that you don't ensure that you are a loving presence in their life or that they aren't allowed to feel sad/hurt/etc. It just means that they likely will be ok eventually, particularly if you are there for them, if they experience something bad. Even something ACE level bad, although I don't think people should be flippant at all about those events.

Relatedly, resiliency is a skill not just an innate thing, and it is a valuable, perhaps INvaluable, skill for adulthood. Being able to bounce back from disappointment, sadness, struggle, that is an important ability. And modeling it and helping your child learn it, while not encouraging them to bottle up their emotions, is difficult but IMO a really important part of parenting. Parents who shield their child from everything, or who allow them to wallow in sadness disproportionate to an event are not doing their child any favors.

It is a thin and delicate line to know when you are helping your child process emotion to move forward vs trying to shut down their emotional process. But again, its important. [/quote]

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