Reply to My tween is... clueless? Rude? Needs help?

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[quote=Anonymous]My 11 yo has always been pretty bad about acting appropriately in social situations involving adults. Saying hello and thanks took forever to stick. He would sometimes avoid the high five from a teacher. A simple birthday or thank you card was always a struggle - he would want to write some “joke” that was just not appropriate for the occasion; apparently writing a simple happy birthday was difficult? Too boring?
He also doesn’t like school and what’s worse is insisting on being “honest” about it. He is writing things like “it’s been ok here I guess but it wasn’t really fun” for 5th grade speech (we had to sit down and edit it). He wrote “I am sorry I can’t compare X to Y because I wasn’t listening to a single word you said” in his social studies diary. I saw it by chance and made him edit it, but I can’t keep policing all his schoolwork. 
His teacher is great and seems to be cool with it, but I did get comments about it from other teachers. I am worried about middle school. I am all for the teachers talking to him and/or disciplining him for it, but I don’t want them to be bringing this up to me unless they think he needs help and not just garden variety disciplining. 
I have a feeling that it’s some kind of social cluelessness plus maybe anxiety in social situations. My father can be like that, my ex husband can be like that, DS doesn’t spend tons of time with either of them but it might be genetic. 
Who should I bring this up to? I keep explaining to him how society works and how this just makes the wrong impression on people who don’t know him well. But I don’t think he cares too much.
I am a people pleaser and it just seems outrageous to me how he is like that.
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