Reply to Discipline 2 year old

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[quote=Anonymous]I think they can sometimes understand immediate consequences (like getting a reward for potty trainings, as PP mentioned). But you have to be incredibly specific and consistent for them to get this. It has to be linked to something very specific and the consequence must be applied the same every time. So stuff like giving a 2 year old a time out for smashing his sister's block tower is really hard to make work unless you are super consistent about the time out for every time he interferes with his sister's playing in an aggressive way. And even then, since the behavior might be slightly different each time, it can just be hard for them to put two and two together. They are very literal at this age but also have limited cognition, and that leads to a lot of misunderstandings.

That's why it's usually better to just really praise and reward positive behaviors and, to the extent possible, ignore negative ones that this age. We basically never punished my DD at this age beyond natural consequences ("oops, you through your dessert on the floor on purpose, I guess you are done with dessert!"). But we praised and rewarded her constantly for stuff like sharing, asking nicely, being patient while we did grown up stuff, listening the first time we asked for something, following our getting ready schedule, etc. It's easier to praise and reward once you are in the habit, and they respond really well to it because they are extremely eager to please at this age and love getting parental attention. So you basically train them to love positive attention from you and to want to do the stuff that gets it.

We still basically do this at 3 and it continues to work well. But at this point we do sometimes do small disciplinary actions because the behaviors are much more challenging. We do small time outs for rude or unkind behavior, and then follow up with a check in where we talk it through. At this point she will put herself in time out, actually, and then say "I needed to cool off!"

Corporal punishment is morally wrong and does not work. It just teaches them to fear you, to conceal their mistakes, and that violence can be justified.[/quote]

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