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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is turning 70 next year and invited my family of four to her destination birthday trip. It's a 7-day European cruise. For a family of four, I'm guessing it will cost us about $6K-$8K for the room, taxes, gratuity, airfare, etc. I'm trying not to have my knee jerk reaction be to say no to her, but this sounds like a lot (but I think I could afford it). I have 2 small children, and I'm not into cruises. It's not as if she'd go alone - she has a few friends who want to go on this trip, but I'm just not into it, especially not a 7 day European cruise with kids who go to bed at 7pm. DH said I could go alone if I wanted, but if I were going to commit to a 9 day trip (with flights to and from Europe), I'd rather it be with my nuclear family.

I found this article about party etiquette for modern times. Birthdays are covered in part 6.
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/06/229284/celebration-party-etiquette-rules

Is it horrible if we just say no? I've already hedged that we're not really interested and that the cost for 4 of us is prohibitive, but she didn't seem to accept that as an answer. I'm assuming I'll just have to be tough and tell her outright no, but I'm trying not to be a jerk about it. She definitely deserves a trip and she's not asking for us to pay for it outright.

Full disclosure: my mom is a travel agent and I'm pretty sure if she gets enough people to go on the trip she either gets an upgrade or free room for herself. 
[/quote]

It's not horrible to say no, but this is likely the last chance you have to take a big trip like this with her.  Depending on how much that means to you, you may want to go, even if it's just you.  Or pony up the money and take the family.

Using an etiquette book to determine what to do with your own mother is a red flag to me. If you really don't like her, then don't go.[/quote]

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