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[quote=Anonymous]Stop trying so hard. How long have you been married? Is SIL local or long-distance?

The hard thing about in-laws is that you are bridging the family/acquaintance line. You really don't have much in common except your DH, and you won't be BFFs if your personalities just don't click. I always thought my SIL didn't like me (nothing outright, just got a 'feeling') and now that I'm 7 years into my marriage and have lived with DH's parents, I understand who she is a lot better. She is just the type of person who takes longer to open up to people even though she is outwardly very outgoing. I don't think it helps that at the same time you are learning how to get along with your SIL, YOUR friends are branching/moving/changing and you don't necessarily have the strong bonds that you used to have with your friends. You can't get that out of SIL, however, if you both don't click on a personality level. You should just aim to be nice and civil and don't expect much more.

And, like your SIL, their whole family is far more materialistic. I wouldn't focus on the gift so much as make an effort to get your kids together for the holidays, for example plan a cookie-decorating party on Xmas while you're all together or plan on taking the kids to the movies Xmas evening (not sure how old they all are...). You focus on planning a fun activity while you're together; DH can shop for SIL's kids' gifts.[/quote]

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