Reply to Pros v. Cons: domestic and international adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree that there is a poster who regularly posts about trauma. But I also know that adoption is trauma and that some kids weather it well and some do not. I have three adopted kids - two international and one through foster care. Of the three one has not weathered the trauma at all and is truly tortured.

I don’t think international adoption is that easy - back in the day there was no question about it you’d get a child, but only when. But there is something to be said about not having the option of open adoptions. I am not saying they are good or bad but only that it is one more decision you can’t second guess.

I think the most important thing to consider is whether you are capable of parenting a child with FAS and attachment issues (both of which are spectrum issues). Two of my three have FAS.

Good luck on your endeavor. Our road has been tough but I don’t regret our decision. Every kid deserves a chance and every kid deserves a family that loves them to the end of the earth unconditionally and my kids have that. [/quote]

It very much depends on the person, who is adopted, how they were adopted and much more.  Foster to adopt there will probably be more trauma because there is abuse, substance abuse, mental health issue and more involved as kids are removed from the home.  Same with international.  But, to generalize that all kids have adoption trauma is untrue.  It also depends on if the adoption was ethical or not.   But, you can grow up in with your biological family and be similar issues and equal if not more trauma.  And, you can give birth and have children with SN.[/quote]

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