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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you aren’t particularly polite to her and she responds in kind. You might try phrasing it more as: We are leaving in 5 minutes, would you please go grab your shoes.

I remember as a kid feeling like my parents were so rude and short with me but expected me to fall over myself with pleases and thank yous. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Of course, they felt they were owed respect but did not see the need to give it in return or even in order to model it.[/quote]

This was my take, too. "Grab your shoes" is a really common way to phrase things, but technically it is pretty rude. What happens if you just trying phrasing things the way you would to someone YOU respect? You wouldn't say "Grab your shoes! 5 minutes!" to your boss or something.

Or what if you just try more things like natural consequences. Or putting her in charge like "We're leaving in 5 minutes - what do you need to do to get ready?"

I am always mad at my own daughter's tone (she's 4), but then I realize it's exactly how I talk to her a lot of the time. I think she is so bossy, but honestly I am always bossing her around, so what do I expect?[/quote]

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