Reply to What are the odds of a long lost love working out again?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is how you approach life still completely different?[/quote]

OP here.  The great unknown.  We did a lot of catching up.  He was really hurt when we broke up and I would guess that he does not want to risk it happening again.   It was a real mess when it ended.  More of the strong, mostly silent type man but what I am planning to do is send him an email and just say that I would like to at least keep in touch and know what is going on in your life and keep the message at that.  Funny thing is that a couple of months ago, my mother asked me if I knew where he was.  And yes, I agree that it is more the memory of him that what he is now, although I believe that people really do not change much if at all.[/quote]

If you really want to see him again, you shouldn't start out by being so wishy washy. You hurt him last time. If I were him and you sent me that message, I might say that I too would like to keep in touch but I would still be waiting for you to suggest a lunch or dinner. That would be true whether I was open to friendship or something more.

[b]When you say approach life differently, what do you mean?[/b] Some ways would still matter and some won't, now that you are older and have kids. [/quote]

Our backgrounds are different.  I am Protestant and he is Jewish (dad) and Catholic.  He is very individualistic and believes being that way is an important part of who he is.  For example, he has worked mostly for himself and said that corporate life is suffocating.  I have always worked for big firms and would never do that.  He is also much more into music and art than I ever was.  Back in the day, he could name every band and loved talking about different music styles and where they originated.

In my early twenties, I found him interesting and he is one of the kindest men you will ever meet.  If you saw him in a social setting, you would consider him approachable and friendly. But in terms of a husband (stability, shared values, etc.) I just did not find him to be the one I would want to spend my life with.  I thought he would someday get married but to someone more artsy.

The reality is that seeing him has hit me like a bombshell.[/quote]

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