Reply to I wish I was never born

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[quote=Anonymous]It's the only solution I can think of that would have prevented the miserable and depressed life I have lived.  I don't want to consider killing myself, would never do it because of my kids, but I truly truly wish I had never been born since I was born with this anomaly of a brain.

I have been depressed and anxious and screwed up my whole life.   I know it was a mistake, and not my fault, but why was I born then?   I haven't don't anything worthwhile other than have kids that lived with a depressed mother who married a man with problems, and added another mess to the world.

Depression is so horrible of a beast.   If you try to hide it, it eats you up inside.  If you express it, people don't like you, avoid you, or get annoyed and angry at you.  I have nowhere to turn anymore except my therapist (just started).   I hate what it has done to my life and it's not fair.   I have never felt joy.   I have taken up space here and it was a waste.  No one can understand what it feels like to KNOW that you are depressed and know that your thinking is not right, but not be able to do anything about it or change it.  I KNOW I should be different but I cannot for the life of me get a handle on it, despite trying meds, therapy in the past, etc.

If I could have one wish it would be this one....that I had never existed to begin with.

Sorry to be a downer, but I have tried.   I told my husband that that is what I want written on my tombstone.  She tried.   Because I really did.  Every second of every day I have fought this beast, but I'm not winning.

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