Reply to Help! Obstinant, stubborn toddler

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a 3 year old girl and I just don't know how to get her to listen. I have tried many things - reward system (backfired, because now she wants a reward for EVERYTHING), sticker chart (she stopped caring about earning stickers after the first day), positive reinforcement and praise, time outs for bad behavior (I warn her ahead of time when she isn't listening - "you have a choice, you can let me brush your hair and then we can watch a movie, or you can go to time out"..she won't do time out or allow me to brush her hair).

I also explain the WHY behind everything, as I thought that perhaps it would help if she understood why I wanted her to do certain things ("we brush our hair so that it doesn't get knots, because once it gets knots, it hurts to brush it). She just doesn't care to listen. It's like she does the opposite of what I want her to do. I don't have crazy requests -" don't chase the cats", "let's brush our teeth", "how about we put on some socks so we don't get blisters."

When I give her a time out, she usually won't do it. She refuses to go to the corner (her timeouts are 1-2 mins, facing the wall and then we talk about why she was sent to time out). I try to keep a level voice, remain calm, but honestly, after the 10th time of asking her to do something simple, I yell. I don't know how to get her to do what I need her to do without yelling because she just does not listen. It takes like 20 minutes to pick up just a couple of toys because she'll dick around and somehow drags it out to take forever. I will sit down with her for like 30 seconds, have her look me in the eye, and I will tell her that it's really important that she doesn't touch the stove because it will burn her, I asked her to tell me why she shouldn't touch the stove, she repeats it, and then what does she do? She f****** touches the stove.

Does anyone have suggestions for how to get her to listen to simple directions? I've read a ton of resources, tried a bunch of different things, all to no avail. I hate being that asshole mom who yells at her kid, I never thought I would be that Mom, but here I am. I have an immense amount of patience, I have 2 neurotic rescue dogs, I have five cats and three special needs foster cats, I'm a teacher to middle schoolers, you get the picture. Please help![/quote]

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