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[quote=Anonymous]Speaking as someone who just divorced her husband of 22 years because he was exchanging oral sex (at least) with men from Craigslist...yes, I think your husband sounds gay.  The only sign from your list that I had is that he never looked at other women.  The few times I walked in on my ex watching porn, it was always straight porn.  But as someone pointed out to me, there are still men in straight porn.

The two things that seem most "damning" to me about your case is that he's simultaneously homophobic yet has gay friends and surrounds himself with men generally.  My sister-in-law married and divorced a gay man, and he behaved exactly the same way -- homophobic yet close friends who were gay.  And I agree that his close friendship with this younger guy is unusual.  It's exactly the kind of "bridge too far" that two closeted guys think they can get away with but which raises the suspicions of everyone around them.

That said, maybe it's not worth blowing up your life.  Is it necessary for you to feel truly desired, or are you kinda low-libido yourself?  [/quote]

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