Reply to Deciding on whether to have a 2nd child when you don't know how severe your 1st will be disabled

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Reply to "Deciding on whether to have a 2nd child when you don't know how severe your 1st will be disabled"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two kids - the older one is NT the younger SN.  It's very, very difficult.  The biggest challenge for my husband and me is not expecting perfection from our NT kid. I have many friends and family members with SN kids and before we decided to have #2, we would talk all the time about how we would NEVER treat the NT kid like we saw those around us doing (expecting stellar behavior and flexibility, annoyance with "minor" health/emotional/school issues, etc).  Unfortunately, now I now why we saw that behavior so ubiquitously: it's very difficult to be emotionally present and to attend to everyone's needs. Often, my SN kid's needs are more immediate and more complex (read exhausting) and I just run out of steam by the time I attend to NT's needs. We are thinking of doing some family therapy to figure this all out, but, honestly, the thought that my NT kid won't really understand it all until much later, when emotional damage is done, haunts me.  I try so very hard to be even-handed, but sometimes my parenting skills just suck. Most days I'm spent. Anyway, good luck with your decision. [/quote]

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