Reply to Deciding on whether to have a 2nd child when you don't know how severe your 1st will be disabled

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Reply to "Deciding on whether to have a 2nd child when you don't know how severe your 1st will be disabled"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you so much for all the thoughtful replies.  I appreciate the reminder that I don't know what I will get with the second child, and I should not have any expectations that would be unfair to #2 (such as to be a friend for DS or to care for DS when we're gone).  I also appreciate the thinking about whether we could afford a second child emotionally and financially, and I guess that is where my struggle really is.  With DS's disability, we have adopted an approach to living that is not the most economical.  We don't spend like crazy, of course, but our philosophy is that whatever keeps us happy and healthy and sane makes us better equipped emotionally for the daily challenges parenting a SN kid brings.  That means we go out to dinner, we take vacations, etc.  A second child would probably mean we'd have to budget more, might need a bigger house in a decent school district that might be further out.  All things I am happy to do, but I worry they would be at the cost of my emotional well-being, and worry that it could take a toll on my parenting of kid #1.  BUT, I guess this is why you think about things before doing them, right?  Luckily neither of us have any interest in a second one right this second, and so we can take some time to see how things shake out.  [/quote]

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