Reply to Deciding on whether to have a 2nd child when you don't know how severe your 1st will be disabled

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your first child is still very young. If I were you, I would wait a few years before deciding to have number 2 or not. Myabe wait till he is 5. By that time, you will know better what the future holds for your child. You will know if he is talking/walking, if he can go to a regular school or not...etc. If it looks like your child will never be able to live indepently, if he still has very severe delays, I personally would not have number 2 as number 1 would be such a big financial and emotional burden. I would say mostly the financial part would scare me, having to financially support your child for the rest of his life is a huge burden especially a child who needs lots of expensive therapy/services.[/quote]

I agree with this. 
In our case, we have two kids, although we didn't find out about the first's suspected ASD until after the second one was born. We wanted three kids and I decided to postpone thinking about the third until we had a better understanding of the first one's situation. Fast forward 8 years, and we will not have that third child and I've come to terms with it. 
Even though my oldest's problems pale in comparison to those of some other children with SN, I have spent so much time and energy dealing with them that I'm not sure how a third kid would have fared in our household. Our second one has miraculously turned out to be the little kid who pulls herself by her bootstraps, perpetually ignored when she wasn't dragged along to therapy sessions for the oldest, and has turned out fine, but if she had had problems too I would be in a straightjacket by now. [/quote]

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