Reply to What's the norm in VA when divorcing - equal custody, or some other arrangement?

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Reply to "What's the norm in VA when divorcing - equal custody, or some other arrangement?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm trying to understand what the options are and when they each come into play. I'd be grateful for any insights about when equally shared custody happens, versus children living with one parent only, and only visiting the other parent a small proportion of the time.[/quote]

I’d worry less about “the norm” and more about meeting your kids’ specific needs. This was the advice a friend gave me. She’s a lawyer, not my lawyer, and noted that many families end up back in court within two years trying to revise a bad parenting plan that they developed based on what they were told was typical. Cookie cutter plans don’t meet every child’s needs. I followed that advice and sure enough, over a decade later, most of our plan is still intact, while friends have had to go back to court for countless modifications. It cost more money and time and tears upfront to put into words a plan that was mindful of our child’s best interests rather than a blanket idea that “This is what you get in the state of _____”[/quote]

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