Reply to lesbian moms (esp. of boys)--dealing with clueless people?

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Reply to "lesbian moms (esp. of boys)--dealing with clueless people?"

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[quote=Anonymous]We tend to get "who is the mom" from people who already know we are a lesbian couple raising a baby together.  They tend to mean "who gave birth to the baby."  The short answer is "we both are" the longer answer is "that question is kind of hurtful because we are both full moms (and we are legally).  If you want to know who gave birth then ask that question specifically."  I think there is a balance in answering these questions, I don't want to jump all over someone who has just never really thought about gay families and how they are organized, but do want to offer a gentle challenge to people who have very narrow views of what a family can be.

I've also gotten "how did you do that" or "How did that happen" mostly from very conservative people.  I tend to assume that they ask just because they honestly have never thought about such a thing and my usual answer is "we went to a clinic" which is honest without being too graphic.

My most uncomfortable moments have been when people assume I'm the grandma (I gave birth) and my partner is mom.  I started dyeing my hair again jus to avoid some of those conversations.[/quote]

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