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[quote=Anonymous]Father went to the hospital in January and my sister who lives with him thought it was appropriate to have him go to rehab for a couple of weeks before returning home. Since then, there has been multiple hospital stays for various things (UTI, low oxygen, etc). Sister decided she was unhappy with the first rehab center, so after the second hospital stay moved him to a new facility. After another hospital stay she moved him once again, where he currently is today. Unfortunately, as is common with elderly, all of these moves confused him greatly. He was already showing signs of dementia, but it has now reached the next level. Many times he doesn't know where he is, or he is at so-so's home visiting, etc. Recently he asked where my mother was and why wasn't she visiting (she died three years ago). Some days are good days, and you can carry on a basic conversation - i.e., what did you eat for lunch? Did you do PT today? In addition to the dementia, he has worsening Parkinson's disease which leaves him shaky and unbalanced. He is very weak and can only walk (aided by a person and a walker) about 30 feet. He is frequently incontinent. He has trouble swallowing (Parkinsons) so his food needs to be basically mush and they need to thicken his water so he doesn't choke. His recent hospital visit they discovered MRSA, so he has a PICC line for 4-6 weeks of antibiotics, which would need to be flushed by my sister at least once per day. The Physical Therapy department at the nursing home says he has reached a plateau, and they don't push him because of his COPD and two aneurisms in his heart that could explode at any time. He cannot bathe or dress himself.

My sister is hell bent on bringing him home because she promised him she would. He asks to come home but honestly I don't think he knows what that is anymore. My siblings feel it is a mistake bringing him home. I live 200 miles away, and while two other siblings are nearby and can help, it seems that skilled nursing is the better option. We would have to have someone be there overnight (he tries to get out of bed and has fallen multiple times) and the rest of the time it would be up to my sister's who are in their 60's. Yes, we could bring in extra help, but after adding up the expense of in-home care, plus the stress on the family (my sister that lives with him is very unstable and volatile), it makes more sense to put him in long term care, where he has 24/7 skilled care. Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this? He is 86 and as you can see, has multiple health issues. How do you go about convincing someone to leave him where he is - which he seems to be happy with most of the time? I don't know if she is doing it to alleviate her own guilt (and trust me, the way she conducted herself with him before all of this happened, i know I would feel guilty), but the situation just doesn't seem safe for my father. [/quote]

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