Reply to Remarried boomer parent takes his wife and her adult kids and their families on vacation

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[quote=Anonymous]So my dad is a boomer (70) and he just casually mentioned in an email that he just got back from a 2 week trip to Florida with his wife and her 2 adult children, their spouses, their kids, and his wife's mother. My dad has never taken us (my 3 siblings, their spouses, my partner and our 1 child, and my nieces and nephews) on a vacation of any kind. I know he's done this before with his wife's family. It makes me feel even more distant from him. He is so ignorant to how his actions can be hurtful. He's also mentioned things like having her kids over for dinner (we never get invited). And at Christmas, they come over all day. For our Christmas with them, we are told "It will be from 12-2). So there is a time end - almost like a kid's birthday party!

My dad is a wealthy man after inheriting a lot from my grandparents who passed away. This is not about money, but it's about spending quality time together and it just seems like we are not his priority. He has never come to visit me (he lives in the Midwest). It feels like he doesn't care. It makes me feel sour and just when I begin to open to him, it makes me want to back off and be more distant when I find out something like this. His wife has always been cold and even outright mean as I was growing up. He acts oblivious to it. My sister has had the same experience with her, but she seems to like guys better and has been nice to my brother (but not very warm toward  my child or my nieces and nephews at all. They won't go near her).

Anybody else dealing with parents like this where they have a separate life with their other family? What is your reaction? I know there is nothing I can do and of course I want my dad to be happy, but his actions are hurtful. I've never suggested we all go on vacation together but it's even the little things like him and his wife saying Christmas is from 12-2. I don't think it would even be in the cards for us to all go on vacation together because his wife seems to only be able to be around us for very limited periods of time. My siblings and I are all polite. It's not an "us" problem.[/quote]

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