Reply to 30 year age gap between fiancé and myself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=ninanoriella]I am 25 and my partner who just turned 55 proposed to me. We are planning to have a small courthouse wedding because of COVID and also because I never liked big parties- I’d rather spend the money on an extended honeymoon or just doing nice things for each other.

He has a 22 year old from his first marriage but they divorced when she was a baby. My fiancé had said to me when we first met (not dating yet) that he didn’t want anymore kids. However after dating for a while he said he sees he missed out on fatherhood a lot and that if I wanted to have a baby, he was willing to try and we’ve been having sex without protection now.

However, while I feel like we are very in love and very compatible, I just wanted some insight into what it’s like to be in an age gap marriage.

My parents are shocked that I’m so serious with a man that much older, but I am going into this hoping that this is forever. I don’t ever want to get a divorce.

I don’t think my fiancé is slowing down anytime soon. However, I was just wondering how I can prepare for if he ends up “ feeling old” or just matching our lifestyles so we’re in tune with each other. I want to be a mother, but after high school I did one year in college before dropping out. I worked for an interior decorating company, just learning a lot of the business behind it. I also do a lot of fashion design in my free time. I want to go and formally study business but my fiancé has been a business owner for a long time and has continuously offered me positions but its not in as creative a field as I’d like.

I think my fiancé also has moments of insecurity about our age gap. Have any of you in age gap relationships dealt with insecurities? He’s worried about aging and jokes he keeps himself young for me but I know that he has a hard time sometimes. Luckily I have a cordial relationship with his daughter but his niece who is 13 has been rather thorny with me. Nothing too bad but just an aloof attitude which I guess could also be because she’s 13. His ex wife is very much not in the picture but has flipped out on his regarding the age gap once. But mostly they don’t talk at all. Pre COVID she was always part of a volunteer corps in another country most of the time.

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I hope you are fine being a caregiver. [/quote]

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